


505

by Winged_Fool



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Canonical Child Abuse, Cosmic Connections, Dorks in Love, Falling In Love, Internalized Biphobia, M/M, Suicide Ideation (mentioned), discussions of mental illnesses, gratuitous fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 13:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19020451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winged_Fool/pseuds/Winged_Fool
Summary: AU where Michael grows up in Albuquerque and occasionally works with Airmen on government projects. Alex just got stationed in Kirtland after completing his PT. They get assigned a project together and somewhere between working together, karaoke nights, and shared abusive pasts, they fall in love because no matter in what universe, their connection is ~*cosmic*~AKA my gratuitous excuse to have Alex and Michael canoodling at some of my favorite places since I grew up in New Mexico and my sister currently lives in ABQ





	505

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wandering_in_space](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wandering_in_space/gifts).



> There are some discussions of Michael and Alex’s abusive pasts. There’s also a very brief description of passive suicide ideation with discussions of Alex’s mental illnesses. It might be triggering to some people, please be kind to yourselves.

The sun was just starting to peek over the Sandias as Michael arrived at Kirtland Air Force Base, in late June. He showed his Sandia Labs ID to the security guard and drove to his office. He’d been working at the lab for the three years after he’d gotten his Master’s in Civil Engineering. Sandia Labs was located on Kirtland’s base and his job occasionally had him collaborating with different Airmen on various projects.

Michael entered his lab and was surprised to see Major Jacks waiting for him with an unfamiliar Airman. The Airman was _fit_ and looked like a snack even in his fatigues. Michael quickly crushed the pull of attraction to the Airman and felt a twinge in his left hand. He flexed his fingers to ease the pain then turned his attention to his boss with a quirked eyebrow.

“Guerin,” he greeted, “I would like to introduce you to Sgt. Alex Manes. Manes just got stationed here after three tours in the Middle East,” he gestured toward the Airman and Michael noticed how Manes was leaning on a crutch and Michael guessed why he was no longer overseas.

“Nice to meet you, Sergeant,” Michael reaches out a hand to Manes, “I’m Michael Guerin.”

Manes grasps his hand and shakes it firmly, “Good to meet you.”

“Manes is a brilliant codebreaker and I would like you two to work on this new project,” Jacks continues and hands both men manila folders with their orders. Michael settles at his desk and looks over the orders with Jacks explaining it to the two of them.

* * *

A few weeks pass and Michael and Alex fall into a comfortable routine. Manes is one of the quietest Airmen Michael has worked with, but at least he doesn’t seem to mind Michael’s ramblings. He’s a good partner and Jacks wasn’t kidding when he called Alex brilliant. But he was just so reserved and Michael wanted to get to know him better. So, on the Monday of their third week, Michael says, “Okay Manes, it’s lunchtime. Let’s go grab something.”

“Oh, I brought my lunch,” Alex says because of course he did. Alex had brought lunch every day and sat at his desk coding through lunch.

“Too bad. I work with Airmen on the condition we get to know each other.” Michael says firmly. Alex looks ready to argue, but Michael beats him to it, “Non-negotiable.”

Alex’s shoulder slump, “Fine, let’s get this over with, Guerin.” He grabs his crutch and they begin heading to Michael’s truck.

“Jeez Manes, it’s just lunch not a death sentence.”

“I know, it’s just...I have to do well on this project,” Alex admits as they get into the truck. Michael understands that. It didn’t take a genius to figure out this was the first job he’d had since whatever injury he got in the Middle East and he was still dealing with that trauma.

Michael decides to lighten the mood so he jokes, “Well I’m glad it’s not about me.”

Alex laughs softly, “It might be partly about you,” he jokes back and he seems more at ease.

Michael takes them to a hole in the wall New Mexican place and after they’ve ordered, Michael leans back in his seat. “So, you traded the Arabian Desert for the Chihuahua one, huh? You a glutton for punishment?”

“No, I, I’m from New Mexico. After what happened in Fallujah,” and he gestures vaguely at his leg, “I wanted to return to something familiar. I requested all three New Mexican bases and they sent me here.”

“No kidding, what part of New Mexico are you from?”

“Roswell.”

“Roswell? Seriously?” Michael asks excitedly.

“Yeah, yeah, the place of the 1947 crash,” Alex says, afraid that’s what Michael is excited about.

But he waves Alex off, “No, I'm actually from there, too.”

“What? But we’re like the same age, I would have seen you.”

“Oh, sorry,” Michael grins sheepishly, “I didn’t grow up there. My parents passed away when I was young and I ended up in an orphanage in Roswell before being fostered here.”

Michael says it so casually it takes Alex by surprise and he’s at a loss for words. “Guerin...”

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he brushes it off, “I do have siblings that ended up getting adopted and stayed in Roswell. Maybe you know them? Max and Isobel Evans?”

Alex’s face brightens, “Yeah we went to school together. I didn’t really know them that well, but they’re dating two of my best friends.”

Michael smiles, “Crazy, small world.” Alex hums in agreement. “What about you? Any siblings?”

“Uh, yeah. I have three brothers but we’re not really that close. My dad was...” Alex trails off as if trying to find the right way to describe him, “hard on all of us. It was kind of like every man for himself,” he admits quietly.

Michael had spent enough time in a variety of abusive foster homes to read the subtext there. He doesn’t want to scare Alex off so he simply nods, “Yeah. I get that.”

They lapse into an uneasy silence and their food is dropped off before Alex speaks again, “So how did you end up working at the lab?”

“I actually kind of failed upwards.” Michael laughs sheepishly, “I only applied to UNM and ended up with a full ride there and I studied engineering. When I graduated, one of my professors offered me a research position, so I took a year off and when that was up, I got my Master’s. I applied to Sandia on a whim and ended up getting a job there.”

Alex laughs and shakes his head, “Oh to be a white male,” he teases gently.

“Hey!” Michael cries in mock protest, but he’s grateful for the change in tone, “What about you with Air Force?”

“My dad is Air Force and all my brothers ended up enlisting in different branches. I wasn’t super studious in school so it seemed like the only choice,” he shrugs, “I didn’t expect to like codebreaking so much, but it’s interesting. I, uh, used to compose music in high school and a lot of the skills are transferable, you know the math.”

Michael smiles and Alex returns it tentatively. They continue the rest of the meal talking about more impersonal things, bonding over music and math. They’re driving back to the lab when Michael asks, “So you don’t really know Albuquerque, huh?”

“Not really.”

“Well, if you ever want to go out with me and my friends, we can show you around,” he offers.

Alex smiles slowly, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

When they settle back into work, Michael remarks, “Hey you survived my lunch invitation, wasn’t so bad was it?”

“The food was good,” Alex agrees, then with a mischievous look in his eyes he continues, “Jury’s still out on the company.”

Michael’s stomach does a flip and he laughs, “Wow. Rude.” Alex flashes him a large smile and Michael knows he’s well and truly fucked.

* * *

Another two weeks pass and they’ve agreed to have lunch together at least once a week. Michael found out that Alex’s father had helped him get the job and was part of the reason Alex was working so hard on the project. Michael remembers the way Alex had talked about his family at their first lunch and he knows there’s a lot of baggage there. On Friday, as they’re packing up Michael asks, “Hey, you doing anything tonight?”

“Tonight? No, what’s up?”

“My friends and I are going out to karaoke tonight and I wanted to know if you’d like to join?” Michael has been wanting to invite Alex out for a while but he wanted the soldier to be more comfortable around him first.

“Karaoke? Seriously?” Alex laughs.

“Hey, we’ve had some good sing-alongs whenever we have the radio on.” Michael defends.

“All right, yeah, that’ll be fun.” Alex smiles and Michael grins back before giving Alex the name of the bar downtown and what time they were planning to meet up.

Alex was the last to arrive at the bar and when he walks in, Michael feels heat in his gut. He's wearing black skinny jeans, a maroon shirt, and a black leather jacket. Michael waves him over and teases, “Almost didn’t recognize you in your civvies.”

“I could say the same to you,” Alex smiles and it was true. Michael had on a plain white tee, worn out blue jeans with a turquoise belt buckle, complete with cowboy boots, and a black cowboy hat sat on the table next to him. Alex turns his attention to the rest of the group and introduces, “Hi guys, I’m Alex Manes.”

“Hi Alex Manes!” they greet obnoxiously.

“Oh my God, you’re embarrassing me,” Michael groans and Alex relaxes a bit. “Let me introduce you to everyone. That’s Jenna,” Michael points to a blonde woman who raises her glass toward Alex, “Chooli,” the other woman smiles, she’s dark-skinned and has black hair, “And Carlos,” he points lastly to the other male in the group.

They all chat amiably and get to know Alex. He and Jenna have a long conversation after she tells him she served two tours with the Marines. After a while, Chooli asks, “Are you Native, Alex?”

“Uh, half,” Alex explains, “My mom is.”

“What Nation?”

“Cherokee.”

Chooli smiles, “I’m Navajo.” Alex falls into another conversation with her asking her questions about her heritage after admitting he doesn’t have a strong connection to his.

After a while, Carlos stands up, “Okay, next round’s on me. What’s everyone’s drink?”

They all call out their order, Alex goes last and shrugs, “Bud for me.”

His order is immediately ridiculed, “Boo!” they jeer.

“Michael, how could you bring a pleb to karaoke night?” Jenna whispers in mock horror.

“Come on, Manes. You’re a New Mexican, plenty of local crafts you can have.” Michael says suspiciously.

Alex put up his hands defensively, “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t realize I was with beer snobs.”

“You’re going to have to go brewery hopping with us, try to teach you some taste,” Carlos declares, “For now, do you like stouts?” At Alex’s nod, he continues, “Okay I’m getting you a Steel Bender stout.” Carlos left shaking his head and Chooli pats Alex’s arm, “Don’t worry, we’ll teach you.”

“Okay, let’s sign up for songs now!” Jenna calls. She and Michael go up to put their names on the list while Chooli keeps Alex company, “Are you going to sing?” Alex asks.

“No, I’m DD tonight and I can only go up there after a couple of tequila shots,” she laughs. “But you should sign up. It’s a bonding experience, and you’ll officially be _in_.”

“I thought being ridiculed for my lack of taste was enough.”

“No, that’s just being civilized,” she teases as Carlos returns with the drinks, “Okay Manes, try this,” he pushes a dark beer towards Alex proudly.

Alex is just finishing his first sip when Michael and Jenna return. They all watch him expectantly, “It’s good,” Alex admits and they all cheer. The rest of the night goes on with laughter and cheers as Jenna and Michael perform their songs. Carlos goes up later and sings a ranchera song and the bar erupts in cheers. The DJ calls out for last call of songs and Jenna nudges Alex, “C’mon Manes, we’re not letting you back unless you sing.”

“Alex! Alex! Alex!” they started chanting, so laughing, Alex goes and signs up. A few people are called before him and then it’s his turn. He goes up to the mic and starts singing the opening lyrics to the Panic! song he’d chosen, “ _Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed?_ ”

Michael feels the tug of attraction overcome him and suddenly Chooli is nudging him, “Your jaw is on the floor,” she teases.

He pulls his arm away forcefully, “Shut the fuck up,” he mutters and she frowns but decides to leave it alone as she sees him coil up with tension. At the end of the song, their table cheers loudly and gives Alex high fives as he returns to his seat. Michael is still feeling unreasonably angry so he doesn’t join back in with everyone. He knows it’s because he can’t deny his mounting attraction to Alex and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

"I didn’t know we were drinking with Brendon Urie.” Carlos laughs.

“You’re definitely going to have to sing Panic! songs from now on.” Jenna agrees.

When the bar closes, they all head outside and linger in the parking lot for a bit. Chooli is giving rides to Jenna and Carlos, but Michael lives in the International District so none of them want to venture there at this hour. “Do you want us to wait with you as you all sober up?” Chooli asks as Michael and Alex sit on the curb. Michael waves them off, “Nah you guys get home.”

Michael is quiet after they’ve left and Alex feels a little wrong-footed. “Are you okay, Guerin? This is _the_ quietest you’ve been since we’ve met.”

He scrubs at his face and tells himself to pull himself together, “Yeah. I just can’t believe you sang _Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off_ and you’re dressed like that. What are we, in 2008?” he tries to tease but he thinks it falls flat.

Alex bristles a bit, “You don’t outgrow emo, Guerin.” He laughs and he still looks worried about Michael but relaxes when Michael laughs with him.

“I promise I’m not usually this maudlin when I drink. Just a weird night, I guess.” Michael says.

Alex is quiet for a moment, “Was it weird for me to be here with your friends?”

“No! No, definitely not.” Michael quickly reassures. “They liked you and I liked having you here.”

He looks skeptical, “Okay, but we’re working together and now hanging out together. If it’s too much, I won’t be offended.”

“Definitely not too much,” he promises. “Come on, Last Call is within walking distance, let’s go get some burritos.”

Michael gets up and holds out his hand to help Alex up. When they’re standing, Alex links his arm with Michael’s, “I didn’t bring my crutch so I’m going to have to lean on you.”

Michael acts put upon, but his heart flutters, and they head out into the night together.

* * *

Alex spends the next couple of weekends hanging out with Michael and his friends. True to their word, they take him to different breweries and he does start developing a taste for craft beer. In mid-August, he needs to participate in an exercise on the base and Michael finds himself missing Alex’s company during the week he’s gone from the lab.

They had all been taking turns hosting a potluck at their houses, and when Alex’s weeklong exercise is over, it’s his turn to host at his place. He plans a cookout for his gathering, and they all bring side dishes to go with the burgers. When they arrive at his place, they’re greeted by an excitable beagle.

“Oh hello,” Carlos says and squats to pet the dog. “Who are you?”

Alex laughs when he comes up behind his dog, “This is Sol. She was originally training to be a service dog, but she failed out of school. She’s too social. She’s my emotional support dog, now. I didn’t realize you were a dog person, Riveria.” Alex addresses Carlos.

“I’m a goner for dogs,” Carlos confides sincerely.

Alex laughs, “Well come in, I have some beers in the cooler outside and I was just about to fire up the grill.” Alex side hugs the girls, slaps Carlos on the back, and Michael lingers behind not knowing how he should greet him. Alex gives him a bright smile and hugs him fully; Michael’s heart skips a beat and he brushes it off, “The lab was quiet without you.”

“I doubt that,” Alex smirks, “I hardly respond to your ramblings.”

Michael laughs, then looks over at his friends who are talking amongst themselves and Chooli is shooting them pleased looks. Michael feels nervous about that but doesn’t dwell on it. They make their way outside and settle down outside, catching up for a bit.

Later, Michael is drinking a beer with Carlos and Chooli while Jenna helps Alex make the patties and roast some green chili for the burgers. “So, what’s the deal with you and Manes?” Carlos asks. Sol is sitting in his lap enjoying his pets. Chooli looks at Michael nervously but doesn’t say anything.

“What are you talking about?” Michael frowns.

“Are you into him or something?” Carlos presses. “Because he’s definitely into you.”

Michael feels fear grip him and he can’t say anything at first. “We don’t care if you are,” Chooli chimes in, “We all like Alex.”

“You guys talking about us when we’re not around?” Michael demands, trying to deflect the question.

“Oh, come off it, Guerin.” Carlos rolls his eyes, “I don’t know what your problem is, but you’ve been so moody whenever Alex does anything remotely attractive and we’re all getting tired of it.”

“I’m so sorry to have inconvenienced you guys,” Michael says sarcastically, “And if you think he’s attractive, why don’t you ask him out?”

“Come on, Michael,” Chooli says gently, “We know what happened with...” she looks at his hand meaningfully, “We just want you to be happy. And we don’t care if you’re into guys, girls, both, whatever. We’re your friends.”

“Just leave it alone,” Michael gets up from where they’re sitting, “I’m going to see if they need any help.” Chooli and Carlos share a look but don’t say anything when he stomps off.

“Hey, are you okay?” Alex asks when he gets to the grill. Michael notices Jenna look over to Carlos and Chooli and he knows they had planned this ambush.

“Fine,” Michael answers gruffly, “Just wanted to see if you needed any help.”

Alex sends him into the house to bring out the side dishes everyone brought and they set the table. Alex can tell something happened between Michael, Carlos, and Chooli because it’s a little tense when they sit down to eat. He tries to alleviate the mood by telling them military leave stories and Jenna chimes in with her own. The tension finally seems to break when Jenna tells them about her machine gun wielding scorpion tattoo.

Michael volunteers to stay behind and help Alex clean up. He’d noticed that he was relying more on his crutch this evening than he had for a while. When the others get up to leave, Carlos lingers behind for a moment to tell Michael, “You better get your shit together.” He levels Michael a firm look and Michael nods. “Tell Chooli I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you guys later.” Michael returns lightly.

"You didn’t have to stay,” Alex says as he’s filling the trash bag and Michael returns back to the kitchen.

“I noticed you limping, you need to take some weight off your leg,” Michael says firmly. He stands in the doorway with his arms crossed, staring Alex down.

“I was on my feet all week on base,” he admits, “It’s the most walking I’d done since I finished PT.”

“Sit down.” Michael orders pointing to the couch in the next room. Alex huffs but he does what he’s told. Sol hops on the couch with her master and places her head in his lap for scratches. He reclines on the chair but doesn’t roll up his pants.

Michael brings him some water and pain killers after he’s asked Alex for their location. “I know you’re injured, Alex. You don’t have to hide it from me and I don’t care,” he says gently handing Alex the pain killers.

He still hesitates for a moment before nodding and rolling up his right pant leg to reveal his prosthetic for the first time. “The skin gets raw when I’m on it for too long, and my bones ache when it’s cloudy like today,” Alex explains, then goes to remove the prosthetic and sock, as if challenging how much Michael doesn’t care.

Michael stays silent as he helps Alex take the sock off and leans the limb against the couch. He wants to reach out and massage the damaged tissue and hesitates for a minute before looking up at Alex. He smiles, “You can touch it if you want.” He looks uncomfortable but it’s an intimate moment between them. Michael carefully massages the area where Alex’s leg ends and the skin feels dry, just like the deserts he’s called home. “It used to disgust me at first. But you really don’t care, do you?” Alex asks, amazed.

“I don’t,” Michael promises and places his scarred left hand on top of Alex’s leg. He looks down at Michael’s hand and nods in understanding. Then he just hums and leans his head back on the couch with a small smile on his face.

* * *

The summer months melt away into autumn and Alex continues to fit seamlessly into Michael’s group of friends and they were making good progress on their project. Michael feels helpless as his crush on Alex continues to grow. Their group drives up to Santa Fe in early September to watch the burning of Zozobra. The festival is celebrated by burning the Zozobra effigy which embodies gloom. The idea of burning gloom away is to enter a new year with fewer worries, so Michael writes his struggle with his attraction to Alex on a slip of paper and watches it burn along with Zozobra.

Things change slightly after that with Michael feeling more comfortable with touching Alex and being friendlier with him than with the others in their friend group. In mid-September, Alex comes into the lab excitedly, “Do you want to go to the Balloon Fiesta with me?”

“The Balloon Fiesta? Really?”

“Yeah, I’ve never been and I heard it’s beautiful,” Alex smiles and Michael realizes he couldn’t disappoint Alex so he agrees to go. They purchase their tickets for the second weekend in October. When the day rolls around, Michael picks Alex up and they drive to one of the shuttle points.

The sun hasn’t risen yet when they get to the grounds and the air is chilly. Alex finds a spot for them and lays out a picnic blanket while Michael gets them hot chocolate. They sit on their blanket as they watch the first hot air balloon take off. More balloons start inflating and ascending into the sky after that first one. As some point, Alex takes Michael’s hand into his and Michael thinks, “Okay, I can do this.” The sun has finally risen and hundreds of hot air balloons dot the blue sky. Alex points out the Fly Penguin balloon as his favorite and Michael prefers the more traditional balloons with the New Mexico Zia.

After most of the balloons are in the air, Alex turns his attention to Michael and squeezes his hand. Michael smiles tentatively which Alex returns and then leans in toward him. Suddenly, panic flares in Michael’s gut and he turns his head away from Alex and pulls his hand away from his grasp. A few tense moments pass before Michael dares to look at Alex. He looks miserable and embarrassed, “I’m sorry,” he says quietly, “I thought we were on the same page.”

Michael’s heart clenches tightly, “No we are, it’s just...I’m bisexual, Alex.”

“Okay?” Alex’s brows furrow, “I mean I know some people aren’t okay with that, but I don't care.”

“No, but I do,” Michael admits quietly.

"Oh.”

Michael looks upset like he’s trying to figure out how to explain it to Alex. “Look can we go get breakfast? I don’t want to do this here.”

Alex agrees and they pack up their things and wait to get back on the shuttle to Michael’s truck. He decides to take Alex to Frontier, because if he’s going to have this difficult conversation, then he’s going to need comfort food. The ride to the restaurant is painfully silent with Alex looking out the window, his shoulders slumped. They both order breakfast burritos and sweet buns, pick up their food from the counter, then settle into a booth in the back of the restaurant.

“Okay, talk,” Alex says, worry around his eyes.

“The last foster home I was in, I stayed with for nearly two years. The couple was friendly enough, though distant. But it was the first stable home I’d had. They were always incredibly supportive whenever I brought girls home. I started realizing that I might also be attracted to guys when I was living with them. I had casually started seeing this guy, Luis, and I invited him over one weekend I knew they’d be out of the house. They ended up coming back earlier than I expected. We weren’t doing anything, just watching TV in the living room, but he was leaning his head on my shoulder.” Michael takes a breath, “When they saw, they just snapped. The wife threw Luis out of the house and the husband started screaming at me telling me what an abomination I was. The wife returned with a hammer and gave it to the husband, and he took it to my hand.” He puts his left hand on the table and Alex traces the scars there with his eyes.

“It was only a couple of weeks from graduation and I’d already gotten my scholarship to UNM. I’d been working at Blake’s flipping burgers so I had money saved, so I got the hell out of there. I ended up living in my truck for the rest of the semester until I could move into the dorms.” Michael explains flatly. “I’ve been attracted to guys since then, but I’ve always suppressed it. Every time I think about acting on those feelings, I can feel my hand seize up or panic overtakes me. I really like you, Alex.” He looks at Alex pleadingly.

Alex smiles a sad smile and places his hand over Michael’s damaged one. “I like you too, Michael. And you don’t have to explain anything. I get it. My dad was a homophobic, abusive dick. We can take it at your speed, okay?”

Michael feels his heart fill with affection toward Alex and he thinks he doesn’t deserve Alex’s kindness, but if he can keep that happiness on Alex’s face, he’ll do whatever he can to earn it. They finish their breakfast in silence, but it feels more comfortable than earlier. “Wanna go for a ride?” Michael asks when they get back to his truck.

“Yeah, okay.” Alex agrees. They don’t drive anywhere in particular, but they leave the Albuquerque city limits and wind through the back roads in the mountains. Alex holds Michael’s hand again throughout the drive and it gives Michael courage. The sun is just setting when Michael pulls into Alex’s driveway, “You spent all day with me, Manes, you tired of me, yet?”

“Oh, definitely,” Alex grins, “Glad tomorrow is Sunday and I won’t have to see you again until Monday.”

Michael laughs softly, then he takes the courage he got from Alex earlier and leans in and kisses him. He feels Alex smile against his lips and then returns the kiss. When they separate, Alex laughs breathlessly and Michael can’t help but steal another kiss.

* * *

A week after Michael and Alex start officially dating, Michael takes his friends out for drinks without Alex. “I want to apologize for being such a shitty friend lately.” Michael starts, “You all know that I’ve had a hard time being comfortable with my sexuality because of what happened in high school with Luis.”

“They were evil people and what they did was wrong,” Jenna says angrily and the others murmur in agreement.

“Still...it’s been hard for me to deal with my attraction to Alex and I started taking it out on you guys and that wasn’t fair. You’ve been nothing but supportive and I was still afraid that you were going to judge me. So, I’m sorry.”

Chooli is sitting next to Michael and reaches over and hugs him, “You’re our family, Michael. We love you, but thank you for apologizing.”

“Does this mean you and Alex have figured your shit out then?” Carlos asks suspiciously and the girls look at Michael expectantly.

He laughs and runs his hand through his curls, “Yeah I think so. We went to the Balloon Fiesta together and we talked about it. We’re good.” He smiles.

“About time!” Jenna calls and they order another round to celebrate. Michael feels lighter and relieved they were able to clear the air.

The next time Alex hangs out with them, they all tease him for only wanting to be their friend to get Michael and he takes it all in stride. He looks happy and completely at ease with everyone and Michael keeps an arm slung around his shoulders the entire evening.

As Alex continues to hang out with them, he learns how they all met. Carlos and Michael had been fostered together when they were fifteen and stayed in contact. Carlos’s parents had passed away when he was thirteen, so he and Michael had a connection. Carlos and Chooli had dated at UNM, but by the time they’d broken up, she was so ingratiated in the group she stayed. Her father had passed away from alcoholism when she was at UNM and her mother had returned to her reservation and they’d had sporadic contact since then.

Jenna had gone to high school and then UNM with Michael and Carlos. She had been in ROTC and then deployed for her two tours after graduation. Her sister had been arrested while she was serving for being a whistleblower and she lost contact with her family, though she made sure to write her sister weekly. Alex was amazed at the way they all carried their tragedies, and he understood that it had brought them all together. They were able to find that missing family with each other and it made him happy they had welcomed him in.

They celebrate Christmas together as a family, filling luminarias and baking biscochitos. They exchange gifts on Christmas Eve with spiked eggnog and Alex’s hand in Michael’s. Even after he’d apologized to his friends and they knew he and Alex were dating, he still had trouble showing affection in front of them. But Alex’s hand in his brings Michael peace and quiets the chaos in his mind.

Michael wakes up on New Year’s in Alex’s bed with Sol cuddling between the two of them. He turns to see Alex is still sleeping and reaches over to brush his hair out of his face. Alex stirs and gives Micahel a sleepy smile, “Hey, happy 2019.”

Michael feels a wave of affection hit him. “Fuck,” he breathes, “I’m in love with you.”

Alex’s smile brightens and he reaches out to put his hand on Michael’s cheek, “I love you, too.”

Michael gets up to feed Sol (and bribe her to stay out of the room) and returns to Alex’s embrace. They stay tangled up with each other until well past noon.

* * *

One night, in early spring, they drive out to the East Mountains and find an empty field to park and stargaze. It was easy to admit their truths out in the middle of nowhere, it felt like they were the only two people around for miles.

They’ve laid out blankets and pillow in the flatbed of Michael’s truck and lay next to each other, holding hands. “Max and Isobel came to Albuquerque with the Evans when we were thirteen. The foster home I was in at the time was awful. They were angry meth heads and would throw things at me and the other kids. One time, they choked one of the younger ones so me and another older kid tried to stop them. They were so high – out of their minds. They got a crucifix and held it over a fire then branded both me and the other kid.” Alex squeezes Michael’s hand, “Anyway, it was so awkward and awful having lunch with them. I was so resentful of their easy lives. I told them I hated them. It wasn’t their fault the Evans didn’t want to adopt me, but I blamed them.”

“You were going through a lot, and you were just angry and confused,” Alex murmurs encouragingly.

“I know, but I was so embarrassed. I didn’t end up seeing them again for ten years. I drove up to Roswell once during my year break from school and it was unbearable. We’d stayed in written contact, I always told them when I moved foster homes, when I graduated high school, then undergrad. They would email me back with superficial updates, but I was glad they were still talking to me. When I got to Roswell, I found out Isobel was married and they hadn’t told me. I didn’t expect an invitation, but it just hurt. After I left, I just caught off communication. They tried emailing me a couple of times after, but I couldn't do it. I haven't seen them since.” A few tears fell from Michael’s eyes. “It’s one of my biggest regrets not trying to salvage that relationship.” He sits up and scrubs at his eyes.

Alex sits up next to him and wipes the tears away, “It’s not just your fault, Michael. They didn’t try either.”

“I know, but it still hurts...you said you knew them through your friends. Do you think you could tell me about them?” Michael asks hopefully.

Alex’s face softens and he runs his fingers through Michael’s curls. “Of course. Isobel’s husband ended up being an abusive jackass, she left him a couple of years ago. She is an event planner, and she’s really good at it, a real social butterfly. She recently started dating my friend Maria, she runs the local dive bar so they’re really different. But they make a cute couple.” Alex smiles, “Max has been hopelessly in love with my friend Liz forever. She left for school and he joined the sheriff’s department. He’s the deputy now. When Liz finally came home, they got together. He treats her so well.”

Michael smiles, “Thank you, Alex.”

Alex hums quietly and tells Michael more about his siblings, how Maria and Isobel hated each other in high school, how Max wrote cheesy poems for Liz. “I’m glad they’re happy,” Michael says softly.

Alex hugs Michael gently and they eventually lay back down in their little nest, hands still intertwined. “I was so emo in high school,” Alex laughs, remembering, “As soon as I had a job and money, I covered my room with posters of Panic! MCR, AFI, Fall Out Boy. It pissed my dad off so much...” he trails off for a moment.

“You never talk about him,” Michael observes.

“I don’t like to, but I want to tell you,” Alex admits and Michael squeezes his hand in comfort like Alex had done earlier. “He was always so angry and took it out on all of us. He was particularly violent with my mother and then one day, she just left. Packed up all her things and left us alone with him. I was eight.” Alex closes his eyes for a moment and Michael makes a sound of distress. “After she left, the violence was spread out amongst us. He was a trained soldier; he knew how to make it really hurt. Then, I don’t know, he somehow figured out I was gay before I did. He thought he could beat it out of me. You can’t make someone stop hating someone. And my dad hated me.

“I was so scared of him. I still am, if I’m being honest. But I figured he was never going to stop hitting me, so I’d give him a reason to. The posters were a start. Black everything next: skinny jeans, band tees, nail polish, eyeliner. It felt good being able to throw all of it in his face. I got my nose septum pierced, pierced my ears, wore all kinds of jewelry. It made me happy and I felt so rebellious.

“But I don’t know, I still felt so empty. Graduation was nearing and I had no idea what I was going to do. I honestly didn’t think I’d live to graduation. I didn’t have a plan so I thought why not the military?” Alex takes a deep breath. “When I was in Fallujah, I didn’t think I’d make it home alive. I think I hoped to die out there.” Alex admits quietly.

Michael freezes and turns to study Alex’s face. He looks calm but there’s tension beneath his words. Michael gets up and pulls Alex into a hug, “I’m glad you didn’t, Alex. I’m glad you’re alive.” He whispers into Alex’s neck.

Alex doesn’t move at first but then he tightly hugs Michael back and starts sobbing. Michael rubs his back soothingly, back and forth. “Thank you, thank you,” Alex keeps repeating and what he’s thanking Michael for, he doesn’t know, but he presses a light kiss to Alex’s neck, “It’s going to be okay, Alex,” Michael promises and holds him until he stops crying.

“I’ve never admitted that aloud before,” Alex says into Michael’s embrace. “I sometimes feel like losing my leg was punishment for being weak. When I got back to the States, I was diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I take pills twice a day and I can function. But sometimes it still sneaks up and paralyzes me. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Michael says firmly, “But thank you for telling me. You’re so brave, Alex.”

“Sure,” Alex scoffs.

Michael takes Alex’s head into his hands so they’re looking at each other. “I mean it,” he leans his forehead against Alex’s, “I’m so glad I met you, Alex.”

Alex chokes back a sob and closes his eyes, “I’m glad I met you, too. You make me feel safe.”

* * *

The project quietly wraps up in early summer. They go out to karaoke with their friends to celebrate and Alex gives an encore from his first night out with _Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Off Her Clothes_. This time when he finishes and returns to the table, Michael takes his head into his hands and kisses him squarely on the mouth in front of the whole bar and their friends erupt into cheers. When they pull apart, Alex’s eyes sparkle and he squeezes Michael’s hand before sitting back down with their family.

The higher-ups are pleased with their work and they assign Alex to other codebreaking projects on Kirtland and Michael returns to his independent research. One evening, while they are clearing away the dishes from dinner, Alex says, “I have a week of mandated leave before my next assignment and I thought maybe we could go down to Roswell together.”

“Are you sure?” Michael is surprised that Alex would want him to join and is also nervous at the prospect.

“Absolutely. I love that your friends are mine too and I would like you to meet my childhood friends. And I think maybe it could be time for you to get to know Max and Isobel again,” he suggests, “But only if you feel comfortable with it.”

Michael is silent for a moment as he continues cleaning up the kitchen. “If you’re there, then I think I can do it.”

Alex squeezes his shoulder, “Of course I’ll be there.”

The next week they pack up their things into Michael’s truck for a mini vacation. Alex had called Liz to let her know that he would be in town and would be bringing his boyfriend. They leave Sol with Jenna before heading out. They blast oldies, signing along while zooming down the freeway. When they’re half an hour out, Alex calls Maria and tells her they’ll be there soon and asks her if she could invite Max and Isobel because he has a surprise for them. He gets off the phone and squeezes Michael’s hand reassuringly.

They arrive at the Wild Pony midday and walk in holding hands. “Alex!” Liz calls as she and Maria rush over and envelop him in a hug. Before he can introduce them to Michael, there’s a loud clatter and their attention is drawn to Max and Isobel who had just dropped her drink.

“Michael?” Max asks in shock.

“Hey guys,” Michael greets awkward, shifting his weight between his feet. They all stare at each other for a moment before the three of them are rushing to meet in the middle. Max and Isobel bring Michael into a fierce hug.

“Oh, my God, Michael.” Isobel cries.

“We missed you so much,” Max whispers into the embrace.

“I missed you all, too. I’m sorry for disappearing on you.”

“None of that,” Isobel waves off, “We let you go. I’m so sorry.”

“I'm sorry, too, Michael,” Max promises.

They’re all in tears when they finally release each other. Michael turns to the girls, “Sorry, hi. I’m Michael, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m--”

“Max and Isobel’s brother.” Liz finishes for him with a smile, “We’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Come on,” Maria gestures to a table, “I’ll get us some drinks and we can chat.”

Michael grabs Alex’s hand and they share a smile before joining everyone at the table. Michael is reconnecting with his biological family and he has his person, his chosen family, holding his hand and he’s never felt more loved.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to know more about the various things referenced in this fic, here are some links! 
> 
> The Burning of Zozobra: https://burnzozobra.com/all-about-zozobra/  
> Balloon Fiesta: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta  
> Sandia National Labs: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandia_National_Laboratories  
> New Mexico Christmas traditions: https://www.tlcplumbing.com/blog/new-mexico-christmas-traditions/


End file.
